The Dick Cavett Show
(1971)
with Danny Kaye
Visit the gallery Danny Kaye . . . Television Appearances for screencaps
The following is a transcript of the Danny Kaye interview on
The Dick Cavett Show in 1971.
The program recently aired on TCM during their Danny Kaye marathon.
DICK: You do so many things naturally, I don’t want to get into the graceful thing again, but you probably are a gifted natural athlete and yet I don’t know if you—did you go out for any sports, did you, as a kid besides golf?
DANNY: Yeah I used to play baseball when I was in school. And I was on the swimming team, and I used to be a pole vaulter. And later on I played golf, and that’s about the extent of it. I’ve never been on a pair of skis in my life, and I’ve never ice skated in my life.
DICK: Are you scared to get on a pair of skis?
DANNY: Yes.
DICK: I am, too. I have a feeling I’d become addicted to it if I did it, but I would undoubtedly bust my leg.
DANNY: Yeah, well, the reason I’m afraid to get on is because I’ve never been on a pair of skis in my life, and I think once you start skiing when you’re about 5 or 6 years old—it’s very tricky. It’s a marvelously exhilarating kind of sport. But I think it’s something you’ve got to start at childhood.
DICK: I’ve water skied, but I’ve never snow skied.
DANNY: Right. I’ve water skied too and almost drowned myself. The day I elected to learn to ski was the day that all the professionals were on the shore. Well, I was in the south of France somewhere and the sea was kind of choppy. And all the fellows who really know how to do it, didn’t do it. And that’s the day I said, “Well, I think I’ll learn how to water ski. And I…drowned.
DICK: And who is sitting here now?
DANNY: Marus Templeman. (laughter)
DICK: I wondered how quickly you’d come up with that name. But you do a lot of things so naturally. You never had a singing lesson, I assume. And you did—sound like you did.
DANNY: No.
DICK: Do you have any idea what your range is?
DANNY: Yes, it’s almost 3 octaves.
DICK: How do you test a person’s range? I’ve never had my range tested, for example, I’ve no idea.
DANNY: Well you call the gas company and you say, “I— (audience laughs)
DICK: Oh really?
DANNY: “…Mr. Gas Company I would like to have my range tested.” And they come up with a thermometer. And depending on how nice you are to them is where they…
DICK: Test your range? But frivolously folks, how do you do it?
DANNY: You start with a note on the bottom of the piano or in the middle somewhere and just keep singing notes and see how far you can get before the dog starts screaming.
DICK: How do you know I don’t have a 3 octave range?
DANNY: I would not suspect that you had a 3 octave range but it wouldn’t surprise me if you did have a 3 octave range since the timbre of your voice seems to be encased in the range of a lyric baritone. I would doubt seriously that you have a 3 octave range in the diaphragmatic control having yet to do with the expiration of the breath. (makes a funny face to the audience)
(Danny belts out a loud sound)
DICK: Guy’s a windbag, isn’t he?
DANNY: Now let me hear that.
DICK: Say that again.
(Dick tries to imitate Danny’s nonsense singing)
DANNY: No, no, no.
DICK: I felt something go there.
(More singing)
DANNY: (to offstage pianist) What note please?
PIANIST: G.
DANNY: G.
DICK: G? I don’t know where G is. Where is G?
(More singing)
DANNY: What note?!
PIANIST: G.
DANNY: (stands up and starts approaching pianist) I almost had an accident and you’re telling me that’s the same note that I sang before?
PIANIST: A flat.
DANNY: A flat. (walks back to chair)
(More singing…bad singing on Dick’s part)
DANNY: (to audience) He has not got a 3 octave range.
DICK: Well, let’s see how low you can go. Start here. Ahhh.
DANNY: Ahhh.
DICK: Ahhh.
DANNY: Ahhh. You got me at a wrong time. If you want to tape the show in the morning, I can do very, very low. At night is very difficult for me. No, it’s really 3.
DICK: Is this as far as you go? Ahhh.
DANNY: No. Actually I can go from a low D or E.
(Pianist plays the note, Dick sings the note)
DANNY: You’re very good at that. See you wouldn’t be able to sing tenor roles.
DICK: (falsetto voice) Oh I don’t know about that.
DANNY: That’s not a tenor, Dick.
DICK: What is it?
DANNY: That’s a lyric soprano.
DICK: No, I was told once that I have a very low range.
DANNY: Yes, you do. You have a baritone range.
DICK: And is there some gimmick whereby you can hit higher notes than you think you can? I mean you and Laurence Olivier, I’ve noticed, have this thing where you can both send your voice up into a high register and speak in it. When you do it, it sounds like when Olivier does it. You get your voice up (high voice with an accent) into a very high thing that you can still speak in. But I can’t do it.
DANNY: Now why do you have to use an accent when you do that? You know what you just said? (loud voice with accent) You get your voice into a higher and you speak in it. Why do you do this?
DICK: It’s because I use a— (audience laughs) Actually this is an accent now. That was my real voice…
DANNY: A Midwestern accent.
DICK: An affected Austrian accent actually. I don’t know why I did that. But you know that thing where you seem to go up above your own voice and…
DANNY: (loud, high voice) Well, it’s, it’s… I don’t know where it goes.
DICK: That’s it.
DANNY: (low voice) Or I don’t know where it has been. I think it’s a—it’s a thing you try; it’s the basic principle of having the guts to try anything.
DICK: But to do that thing without a trained voice, you could, by all odds, be straining or snapping something or hurting something.
DANNY: No for the most part when people do it naturally it’s because they know instinctively how far they go with it. It is when people have trained voices than—goodness knows I believe in trained voices—but they get so wary of their voice to begin with they won’t take any kind of liberty with it about stretching it, you see.
DICK: Because they’re so concerned about it. Yeah, yeah. But you never studied and yet you can do it.
DANNY: Never studied singing. I never studied dancing. I never studied fencing except for the picture.
DICK: What made you—I know you come from a family of a lot of brothers—what pushed you into show business and the rest of them into normal lives?
DANNY: I had two brothers.
DICK: Were there only two? I guess I thought there were more.
DANNY: And I don’t know. I don’t know what pushed me into show business, Dick. I suppose I could make up all kinds of fanciful stories about how I eventually got into show business but, well, I’d get into a whole philosophical binge about that, you know. I believe—I never even wanted to be an actor. What I wanted to do, really, was to be a doctor.
DICK: And you sort of compensated by becoming half a doctor.
DANNY: Well, I like medicine and I’ve always been interested in—but I like a lot of things and I’ve always been interested in a lot of things. And I believe that anybody given equal opportunity, equal opportunity, really becomes what they have to become rather than what they want to become. See, I wanted to become a doctor, and I became what I think I had to become because it’s the best means for self expression that I have. Some people do it by painting, some people do it in business, some people do it in composing music or writing. I do it by performing and it gives me great joy and satisfaction. And I enjoy it.
DICK: That’s probably just as well. I mean, you don’t want a surgeon to be too much of an extrovert when he’s…
DANNY: They are in a strange way.
DICK: Yeah, yeah. Say, would you do something actually? We have at tremendous expense sprayed four music stands. And we have a stool over there and a microphone. And I know that a performer loves to perform; he doesn’t like to just sit around. Otherwise his performing goes sour—hello!
DANNY: (wakes up from his pretend sleep) Yes?
DICK: The audience is assembled here and we have the stage in lights and all of that. And if you would get up and do some little thing for us.
DANNY: A little thing?
DICK: Some little thing.
DANNY: Well, I tell you, I would like to do a little thing and it will be an aria from Boheme. I didn’t rehearse this with the orchestra but I’m sure they’ll know it. It’s an aria… I was here waiting for you this afternoon. And the fellas were practicing.
DICK: Yeah?
DANNY: And they really kind of impressed me, I must say, because one of the gentlemen in the brass section was doing a thing called triple tongue. Did they used to have band concerts in your hometown?
DICK: Hm-mm.
DANNY: Well they used to have them here at the mall. And there was a man called Dell Stager who used to be called a silver-tongue trumpeter. And he used to do a thing called Carnival of Venice. Carnival in Venice or Carnival of Venice? And I was absolutely crazy about it. And I think that’s where I first learned to do that crazy kind of thing. And we ran over something today, and it might be—fellas, would you mind coming up here and bringing your horns with you?
DICK: These are our fellas. Hall your brass up here.
(Danny and the trumpeters perform “Carnival of Venice.”)
DANNY: (sits on a stool) You all want to do a song with me? Would you like to do a song with me?
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Anatole of Paris.
DANNY: No. No.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Deenah?
DANNY: No. You will do a song with me because somebody asked me how we managed to communicate with the children on a great many of the trips I have made, which we will talk about right after this segment. And there was always a little song that I would teach the children. Now since adults make the best children in the world, I think we will teach you this song. And it was a song I used to do in a movie years ago called Hans Christian Andersen, and it’s called “Thumbelina.” Do you have a felt pencil? (someone throws him a felt pen) Anybody got a little handkerchief? Huh?
DICK: I’m embarrassed to say I don’t have a little handkerchief.
DANNY: Any kind, a big handkerchief, a small handkerchief.
DICK: Does anyone carry a handkerchief? (someone hands one to Danny offstage)
DANNY: Yes, there we are. There. Now we will make a… We’ll take this and put it right here like that, and you can get a nice close shot of that. Now I will sing, if you’ll give me a key…
(Danny sings “Thumbelina.”)
DICK: You know, ever since I can remember, I’ve been reading about you and UNICEF—well, not ever since I can remember—but it’s been…what? More than 15 years?
DANNY: 18.
DICK: 18 years? Yeah, how did you get involved in that? Did they come to you or did you come to them? How’d that happen?
DANNY: No, it’s a marvelous story. I had always worked with kids ever since I was a kid…on a local level and then on a community level then on a state level. And I was making a trip back from London, and I was in a stratocruiser, one of the first, new big planes. And we caught fire in the middle of the ocean. Well, we managed to get back alright; it was kind of hair-raising. And on that plane was a man called Maurice Pate, who was then the head of UNICEF, and he called me after we got back and he said, “I hear you’re going on a trip around the world.” And he said, “Would you go and visit some of the installations in UNICEF?” Said because too many people don’t know about it, you know? And then, as now, the UN was ridden with initials. They had UNICEF and WHO and FAR and PER and L and… And I said, “Yes, I’d be delighted to do that. And so I went, and I didn’t know very much about UNICEF then either, but it wasn’t until I got out on the field, Dick, and I saw the—literally—thousands of people who had devoted their lives, their energies, their emotions to this incredible organization. It wasn’t until then that I got hooked on it, and I’ve been with them ever since. And they have continually saved lives for the last eighteen years. It’s one of the most remarkable organizations that I have ever witnessed anywhere in the world. It is now headed by Harry Labouese who has been a most able success as Maurice Pate. And each time I make a trip, you know, it’s reaffirmed for me. I get the same kind of thrill out of seeing these people so devoted to that work. I, for one, think that it’s the only hope in the world, really. Strangely enough, in all the trips I’m making, I meet political leaders and religious leaders and social leaders. And all of their political ideologies may be widely divergent, they all say exactly the same thing about their children, you know, that the future of their country is in the future of their children. I just came back from a trip.
DICK: Just now? You just finished a long one. Yeah.
DANNY: I left Los Angeles and I went to Tokyo. I went from Tokyo to Hong Kong, Hong Kong to Manila, Manila to Jakarta, Jakarta to Singapore, Singapore to Bangkok, Bangkok to Calcutta, Calcutta to New Delhi, New Delhi to Rome, Rome to Paris, Paris to Stockholm, Stockholm to Oslo, Oslo to Amsterdam, Amsterdam to Helsinki, Helsinki to Copenhagen, Copenhagen to Hamburg, Hamburg to London, London to New York and into an oxygen tank.
DICK: I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening. Could you do that again?
DANNY: Yes, I went from Los Angeles to—
DICK: Now wait a minute!
DANNY: I can do it again.
DICK: You took a lot of film; you always do on these trips.
DANNY: Yes, we shot a lot of film, and we are going to make a documentary of it. I brought some along and it’s only a couple of minutes because we shot this film in—outside of Calcutta at one of the refugee camps. And you will see, I think it is more graphically illustrated on film than any other way. It proves always that the innocent victims of any disaster are always children. And with an organization like UNICEF, who supply medicine, medical supplies, food, clothing—these children do have a chance to recover, have a chance to grow into some kind of maturity, take their place in their communities and their countries. And I think consciously or unconsciously, they will somehow realize that many people of many nationalities of many faiths of many colors have banded together to make their lot in life a little more palatable. And perhaps when they grow up, it will be easier for them as citizens of their countries to deal with other countries and maybe then—I don’t know whether it will be in our lifetime or not—but maybe they will make it possible to live in a healthier and a happier, more peaceful world.
DICK: Let’s take a look at that. Tell us what it is—
(Footage from Danny’s UNICEF trip is shown)
DANNY: Yeah, this is a… refugee camp outside of India where people have walked for many, many weeks to get there and children and old people are really the ones who suffer the most. Now the day we were there it was pouring rain, absolutely pouring, one of those tropical rains. And naturally our truck got stuck. And there were all the people and the children standing in line waiting for their food rations, waiting for people to come along, and give them their rations—that was a pump donated by UNICEF, it was the only fresh water in the entire camp. And this lady, instead of drinking it, was using it to bathe a child’s fevered brow. Ten million refugees.
DICK: They say you can’t believe it ‘til you see it.
DANNY: No, it really is unbelievable. This kid just resting. And here we were in a little hospital and you will see now what I mean about children who are terribly malnutritioned [sic], suffering from malnutrition. And those are the little babies that UNICEF people who volunteer…
DICK: Can a kid ever recover from that much malnutrition?
DANNY: Yes, yes, they do. If they get them in that time, a lot of them really don’t make it, but a great many of them do.
DICK: What progress are they making with birth control in those areas?
DANNY: Well that is the big area, I think, that needs a further thrust because in spite of the fact that this organization does such an incredible work—look at that (footage of a tiny Indian baby holding onto Danny’s finger, then it switches to another tiny infant crying) There’s a very sad child. But again, he will recover. The minute they get into some kind of area where they can receive medical attention, they will recover. But a lot of them haven’t on the way.
DICK: Have any idea what percentage of them are reached by—
DANNY: No… Now look at this now and you’ll see what the real disaster is. (footage of an infant with severe malnutrition; then footage ends) You see the sad thing of all of this is that—in the seventeen or eighteen years that I’ve been traveling—to see UNICEF growing, to see more installations being built, to see more trained people, to see more supplies coming in, much bigger and better than it ever was before. It is rather sad to see that it is very difficult to keep up, it is very difficult to close the gap because the birth rate in Asia is so enormous that in spite of the efforts of an organization like UNICEF, it is very, very difficult to close the gap and keep it up.
DICK: They’re always behind.
DANNY: So I think that should be, that probably will be the next thrust as far as UNICEF is concerned.
