On the Double (1961)

Back to My Favorites            Back to On the Double Filmography

This is the third film in which Danny plays two different roles. [The first was Wonder Man. The second was On the Riviera.] Unlike the first two films, however, in On the Double Danny only plays General Lawrence Mackenzie-Smith for a short time. The rest of the movie he is Pvt. Ernie Williams. Williams is an American who has been over in England helping the British to fight the Germans. During mealtime the men realize he can do good impressions of various people, including General Mackenzie-Smith. After being arrested for his impersonation of a commanding officer, some of the other top officials realize that Williams could come in handy. There happens to be a death threat against the general. So Williams is brought in to stand in for General Mackenzie-Smith while the real general is being sent to safety. Pvt. Ernie Williams does his best to fool those around him since only a select few know about the switch. It's a movie of comedy, drama, and romance...definitely an enjoyable movie.

My favorite scene takes place early on when Williams first meets General Mackenzie-Smith (the only scene where Danny's two characters are in the same scene).

COLONEL SOMERSET: Sir Lawrence, this is project 402.

MACKENZIE-SMITH: Good heavens.

COLONEL SOMERSET: Oh please don't judge by his present unprepossessing appearance, sir.

COLONEL ROCK HOUSTON: Z2 has investigated him thoroughly, sir. This man has an amazing ability for mimicry.

MACKENZIE-SMITH: Well, we'll jolly well have to make sure.  Step forward, man. Step forward, damn it!

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: Yes, sir.

MACKENZIE-SMITH: Turn around. Faster!

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: Well, I can't turn around any faster, sir. If I turn around fast I get dizzy and nauseous and everything, sir.

MACKENZIE-SMITH: Turn around!

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: Yes, sir. It's like this, sir. You see, sir, it's a form of allergenic vertigo, sir. It's a deviation of the inner ear. It's quite an interesting problem medically. I wrote a letter to my draft board explaining the whole thing, sir... (he continues talking while MACKENZIE-SMITH says his next line)

MACKENZIE-SMITH: What is this ruddy nonsense? I say, halt!

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: Just in time, sir.

MACKENZIE-SMITH: I say there is a vague physical resemblance. But I do say, chaps, don't you think we're going a bit near the knuckle.

COLONEL SOMERSET: Oh, excuse me, MI5 have also investigated this man, sir, tested him thoroughly. Actually his impersonation of you is skillful, even uncanny. Please don't judge too hastily, sir.

(GENERAL MACKENZIE-SMITH lights a cigar.)

MACKENZIE-SMITH: Yes, yes, yes. Of course. Hmm, what did you say this chap's name was?

COLONEL SOMERSET: Williams. Private Ernest Williams.

MACKENZIE-SMITH: Yes. Yes, of course. You. Let me see you play General Mackenzie-Smith in your uncanny and skillful way.

(The general has been blowing smoke from his cigar and WILLIAMS has been coughing and waving the smoke away.)

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: Would you mind putting out that cigar, sir?  I'm allergic to tobacco. My sinuses are simply not equipped to handle, sir. It's all in that letter. Page 4, paragraph 3.

MACKENZIE-SMITH: Look here, man, I haven't got all day! General Eisenhower is waiting.

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: Well, tell him not to, sir. I don't do him.

MACKENZIE-SMITH: Of all the blithering idiots! I'll give you exactly 5 seconds to comply with my order, or I'll ready well have you taken out and shot. Or are you allergic to that too?

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: (imitating the general) Of all the blithering idiots! I'll give you exactly 5 seconds to comply with my order, or I'll ready well have you taken out and shot. Or are you allergic to that too?

MACKENZIE-SMITH: Rather good, me boy, rather good. I say that's quite a remarkable resemblance. Isn't it, Somerset?

COLONEL SOMERSET: Glad you think so, sir.

MACKENZIE-SMITH: Yes, I do. My congratulations, dear fellow. Yes, yes. Quite remarkable. Blast me, if I don't think he'll do.

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: You mean you're not going to shoot me for impersonating an officer?

MACKENZIE-SMITH: Not I. Have you been told about your assignment?

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: Assignment?

COLONEL SOMERSET: We'll take care of all that later, sir. He hasn't been told a thing.

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: Well, what are you talking about, gentlemen? I--what haven't I been told?

COLONEL SOMERSET: Turn around. Face the general.

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: Excuse me, sir. (salutes quickly)

MACKENZIE-SMITH: Williams, you deserve a drink.

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: Oh, thank you, sir.

MACKENZIE-SMITH: Eh, what'll you have?

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: Skim milk.

MACKENZIE-SMITH: What!

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: I'm on a salt-free, fat-free, high protein, low calorie, low cholesterol diet, sir.

MACKENZIE-SMITH: Blast it, man! Any man who wants to step into my shoes have better learn to drink my brandy.

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: Yes, sir.

MACKENZIE-SMITH: I presume you always employ the eye patch?

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: Oh, yes sir. I think they let me keep it, sir. I have it--oh, nope. That's the Hitler mustache, sir. I can tell by the mashed potatoes. Here it is. Right here. All leaves, casual forthwith for the fortnight.

MACKENZIE-SMITH: That's the wrong eye, you idiotic nincompoop! A mistake like that might be tragic.

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: Well, you see, sir, I have one good eye and one eye with very poor vision  and when I imitate you, sir, I always put the patch on the bad eye so I can see,  but if you insist on it, sir, I can put it over on the good eye, sir.

MACKENZIE-SMITH: Here. Here, man, here's your drink. Drink up.

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: Eh, sir, I have a liver condition that's very--

MACKENZIE-SMITH: There'll be steal through it if you don't drink up.

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: Well, you see, alcohol makes the enzymes in my blood have their own private wars.

MACKENZIE-SMITH: Be quiet, man, or I'll have you hanged for insubordination.

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: Yes, sir. Very good, sir. If that's what you really want, sir. (begins fumbling around the desk for the drink, but since he can't see he puts his hands in some white cream) Sorry, sir. I can't see a thing. See I should always wear it on this--ooo. (puts his dirty hand up to his bad eye ) See...should I put two patches on, sir?

MACKENZIE-SMITH: For heavens sake, man, drink up and get out of my sight.

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: Yes, sir. (spills ink) Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I'll fix it, sir. (tries to straighten up the desk but papers get stuck to his dirty hands) Excuse me, sir.

MACKENZIE-SMITH: That will be all!

PVT. ERNIE WILLIAMS: Yes.

MACKENZIE-SMITH: Take him out and try to persuade him to desert.

- Home -