Up in Arms (1944)
Danny Weems is a young hypochondriac who works as an elevator operator in a medical
building...just so he can be near the doctors and nurses. He also happens to be in
love with Mary, one of the nurses. He's so head-
As luck would have it, Danny and Joe are drafted, and Mary and Virginia are enrolled
as well for nursing duty. Danny's bedside at camp is filled with all his medicines,
and he's forever being teased by a couple of the others in his company. Danny, Joe,
and Virginia are all called to ship out to sea, but before they leave Danny secretly
meets up with Mary to say good-
There are many hilarious scenes in this movie. One of my favorites takes place near the beginning of the film. Before Danny is drafted, he's working at the medical building as the elevator operator. One of the patients enters on his way up to the sixteenth floor to visit his doctor. Danny, of course, being a hypochondriac ends up convincing the man that he's worse off than he thought he was. (This is something Danny tends to do throughout the movie and it's simply hilarious!)
MR. HIGGINBOTHAM: Morning.
DANNY: Morning, Sir. Good morning. (pause) Not doing you much good, is he?
MR. HIGGINBOTHAM: Oh, yes, I feel much better.
DANNY: You look better three months ago.
MR. HIGGINBOTHAM: Oh, come now. What's the matter?
DANNY: Your eyes...they blink.
MR. HIGGINBOTHAM: Everybody's eyes blink.
DANNY: Yeah? Everybody's eyes blink once a second. Yours blink twice.
MR. HIGGINBOTHAM: Twice? Is that bad?
DANNY: Oh, no. 'cept if it works back.
MR. HIGGINBOTHAM: Works back? Well, what'll happen?
DANNY: If I told you the truth, it would only make you worse. A man in your condition shouldn't get himself upset.
MR. HIGGINBOTHAM: Oh, I'm all right. I'm all right.
DANNY: I don't know. In my job, I see people come and go all the time. Oh! We just passed the seventh.
MR. HIGGINBOTHAM: What are you stopping for?
DANNY: I just remembered... Only last week a fellow wanted to the sixteenth floor just like you did. Well, I got him as far as the eighth and pfft he was gone.
MR. HIGGINBOTHAM: Maybe I should have stayed in bed.
DANNY: Of course you should. Let me see your tongue. No! Put it back! It's contagious; now you've exposed me to it!
MR. HIGGINBOTHAM: What'll happen to us?
DANNY: Us? Don't say us. I haven't got it yet.
MR. HIGGINBOTHAM: What is it? What have I got? Don't hold back on me. Tell me. Tell me.
DANNY: Well, it looks like polynarimoriophis. It strikes without warning. You'll be coming to your office one day and then suddenly... (Danny twitches and makes bizarre noises) Then you'll be all right for a few days. And then... (Danny twitches and makes bizarre noises)
MR. HIGGINBOTHAM: You mean to tell me that I'll be... (Mr. Higginbotham twitches and makes bizarre noises)
DANNY: You see, it's started all ready. Your skin is turning gr-
MR. HIGGINBOTHAM: (sits down on the bench in the elevator) Oh, water. Water. Please give me a glass of water.
DANNY: (elevator door opens) Water. Water. (steps out of the elevator) Dr. Freyheisen.
Dr. Freyheisen. Dr. Frey-
DR. FREYHEISEN: What? (goes to the elevator)
DANNY: All I did, doctor, was-
(Dr. Freyheisen takes Mr. Higginbotham's pulse)
MR. HIGGINBOTHAM: Oh, doctor.
DR. FREYHEISEN: I told you to keep away from my patients.
DANNY: Doctor, why is your hand trembling like that?
DR. FREYHEISEN: Because I'm mad you idiot, that's why!
DANNY: But, doctor, that wouldn't make it purple.
DR. FREYHEISEN: It's not purple!
DANNY: It is purple-
DR. FREYHEISEN: One, two, three.
DANNY: ...except for those green and yellow streaks.
DR. FREYHEISEN: Where?
DANNY: There. (Mr. Higginbotham faints)
DR. FREYHEISEN: Go away from me, you maniac! Get away! Get out! (takes Mr. Higginbotham to his office)
DANNY: But Doctor.
DR. FREYHEISEN: Shut up!
DANNY: Doctor, you shouldn't yell like that. It's bad for you.
DR. FREYHEISEN: I will yell.
DANNY: All right, yell. But remember Dr. Flugle. He used to yell. He came in at nine one morning and at nine five pfft he was gone.
DR. FREYHEISEN: Well let me tell you something. If you're here at nine tomorrow morning, at nine five pfft you'll be gone. (goes into his office and closes the door)
DANNY: Oh, but Doctor, you don't-
VIRGINIA: Here, drink this. (hands Danny a glass of water, he takes a sip)
DANNY: What is this?
VIRGINIA: Water. I heard you calling for it.
DANNY: Water?
VIRGINIA: Just plain ordinary water.
DANNY: Oh, Virginia, you know I never drink anything but Jupiter Springs No. 3 distilled.